Just trust me on this one.
I recently submitted a piece to Leanin.org about how I’ve advanced my career – and my life – by not only “leaning in” as Sheryl Sandberg describes it, but by stepping out when the time was right as well. Sometimes leaning out is just as important – or moreso. Women of domestic violence and abuse need more help leaning out first, and then we can teach them to lean in, for example. Many women stay in bad situations too long because they’re afraid of what it means to leave. I’d like to see us teach more women how to leave when something’s not right for them – and how to lean in even when it’s uncomfortable to push the boundaries.
Here’s my story – what’s yours?
I never understand folks with such big egos that they think they already know it all. NOBODY knows it all. There is always more to learn. And learning is awesome – it keeps you interested and interesting. (A few ideas: salsa dancing, photography, hiking, surfing, painting, snowboarding, building a treehouse… you get the picture.)
I never promised I’d keep ‘em coming daily (did I?), just that I’d post at least 365 So, to catch up, here’s 12-22.
12) Admit your mistakes – it’s the only way to truly improve from making them.
13) Don’t “Over-Google,” – some things in life are best learned from actual people – like your spouse, your Doctor, scientists, etc. Social insights only go so far.
14) If you keep people guessing, they’ll never be able to reproduce what you do. Stay the course, YOUR course. Even if others don’t quite get it, criticize it or wonder just what the hell you’re doing.
15) Believe in you. It’s the best investment you can make.
16) Know when to walk away. There are many times in life you’ll need to do so for your best interests.
17) Stop listening. Sometimes you have to ignore what the haters say and keep focused on the good things in your life.
18) Exercise. Always.
19) Find champions. Not just those that you admire, but those that admire you and can inspire, lead and direct you as you navigate new challenges in life.
20) Be honest. It isn’t always easy, it’s often uncomfortable – but it’s always the best way (even if a little white lie right now seems the easiest way out).
21) Don’t underestimate yourself. If you think you can’t, you can’t. But if you try, you’ll likely never regret it – and will always learn something new.
22) Turn the TV off. Or the computer, the iPod, iPad, whatever. Invest in people, books, music… learning – at least more than zoning out in front of the boob tube. You don’t want to be a boob, do you?
Listen. If you can’t give someone the respect of truly listening to what they have to say (or write, or ask), why should they give you the respect of repeating it?
There are a few things one should always have in the car. A bottle of water. A snack (nuts are always good – protein, long lasting, easy). Emergency kit. Leatherman. Lip balm. Breath mint or gum. Hand sanitizer. Mobile phone (with charger and camera). Credit Card. License. Extra coat. A jack and spare tire. And a folding chair. Yes, a chair – you never know when you might get stuck and have to wait somewhere, or land somewhere unexpected that you just want to get out and stare at for a while (like a beach, a mountain, a concert).
What would you add?
Despite what school is teaching you by giving everyone a trophy, a ribbon or an award, life doesn’t work like that. You don’t get something you haven’t earned. There is only one first place. And sometimes, not winning is just what we need. It isn’t always about winning, but rather about the journey and the lessons we take from the experience. And if you want to win, you’re going to have to work hard to do so.