Tag Archives: friends

In Uncertain Times, Give Credence to the Positive

In what’s been the most challenging few years of my life, I’ve realized today that I’ve focused way too much on my detractors and not enough on my supporters. I’ve been listening to those tearing me down more than I’ve listened to those building me up. Once I started to change that, things got really hard. The haters do not like to be ignored. They yell louder, they get meaner, and they get more and more personal about their attacks. But the louder they yell, the more proof that you are becoming stronger – that you are creating change. And while change can be extremely uncomfortable and make you wonder if you are doing the right thing – keep the faith. You are. That’s why it’s so hard.

Sometimes you can use  detractors’ opinions as fuel to do better, to keep going, to prove them wrong – but don’t forget to focus on your supporters too, and to give them more credence. Thank them, listen to them – hear them. I’ve realized now not only is that what I need to do, but that I need to put my energies into the positive: the people, the work, the beliefs that will carry me along to a better place.

Don’t believe the hype. Keep the faith. Believe in yourself. I found this video today and thought there were so many good quotes in it – so many things to help me refocus my energies, that I wanted to share it with you in case you could use a little reminder, too. Enjoy.

To all those who watch and wonder if I really know what I’m doing….

To all those who stand in judgment, waiting for the other shoe to drop….

Okay Facebook, that’s fine but it will make me close acct & stick to Twitter; via @FastCompany #stalkersnothanks

Seriously, this is just stupid. If I wanted to let just anyone know what I’m doing on Facebook why would I have all those Profile Privacy settings? (Even if it’s just my status update – which are very often personal updates.) If I treated Facebook like Twitter, I would accept all those friend requests sitting in my inbox from complete strangers with no reason why they want to be “friends.” If I wanted to let the world know what I was doing an didn’t care who knew, I’d say it on Twitter.

But I use Facebook differently. For now, that is. If they do this, I see no use for Facebook and will go to a different community for private communications with friends and family.

What do you think?

Amplify’d from www.fastcompany.com

Facebook Tests Stalker-Friendly “Subscribe to” Feature

Facebook SubscribeFacebook is testing a new feature that allows any user to “subscribe to” another user. What with having hundreds of friends, multiple news feeds and only so many hours in the day, you might miss out on what your ex-girlfriend is doing these days–and that will not stand!

Facebook Subscribe

The “subscribe to” feature gives you notifications whenever someone to whom you’ve subscribed takes action on Facebook, from status updates to photo uploads to wall comments. The new feature doesn’t seem to extend as far as Facebook Places check-ins–Facebook says it only applies to updated statuses and new content. Here’s their statement:

Yes, this feature is being tested with a small percent of users. It
lets people subscribe to friends and pages to receive notifications
whenever the person they’ve subscribed to updates their status or posts
new content (photos, videos, links, or notes).

AllFacebook notes that while this is sort of creepy for individuals, it could be used to great (and less weird) effect with public pages (eds. note: Please stalk Fast Company on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/FastCompany). Imagine following a band, and never missing when that band sends out a Facebook message with new tour dates. You could see how business and other groups would find the feature pretty useful, especially since it distills the true fans from the casual ones who join every page.

In the wake of pretty much continuous privacy scandals, it’s unclear how Facebook will make this feature seem palatable. It doesn’t exactly allow anything that wasn’t possible before, but it makes obsession much easier. Perhaps Facebook would implement a way for users to approve subscribers?

In any case, the feature is merely being tested now, and may or may not ever be implemented for the general public. How do you all feel? Is this a valuable new tool, or a step over the line into creepiness?

Dan Nosowitz, the author of this post, can be followed on Twitter, corresponded with via email, and stalked in Brooklyn (no link for that one–you’ll have to do the legwork yourself).Read more at www.fastcompany.com
 

Love Your Life

Every other month or so I get together with a wonderful group of women who are in similar fields and own small businesses. The “PR Chix” are each others’ Board, executive team, shoulder to lean on and friends. We share ideas, wisdom, triumphs and heartache. Although I only see these women a few times a year, and always in a a mentor/mentee-type atmosphere, I love and rely on and respect them. Immensely.

At the last meeting we had, one of the women was talking about her summer and how she took some time for herself and spent a good deal of it surfing. She talked of her car full of sand and wet towels, and I felt like I was watching a movie. The other two talked about new romances, skiing, days at the beach and dating. They spoke of how they have both run marathons, international summer travels and going out in Boston.

It was so romantically glorious in my mind, picturing them all so carefree. I said to them, “Your lives are so interesting; you are so lucky, I never go anywhere.” They of course said, “Yeah, but we all want what you have.”

I am the only woman in the group who is married or has children. (Despite this, we have so much in common.) So when I hear of their lives I envy their freedom; when they hear of mine, they envy my stability/family.

When I came home, I told my husband of their adventures and how they all got to go to all these places all summer, had already run marathons (which I want to do), etc.

Boy did I feel dumb when he reminded me of all our travels in the previous year that I had forgotten to mention: San Francisco (All Star Game), Vegas (“Rocktober” with friends), Tampa/St. Petersburg (amazing stay at the Don CeSar Beach Resort with the kids) Hilton Head, Michigan, etc. – both with and without the kids.

And then, a few weeks later when he gave me this amazing gift (which had already been in the works), I felt even more dumb that I had not been more impressed with my own life to share it with my friends.

This is certainly a lesson I will never forget again.

Yep, I’m thankful too

Playing around on all the new social media sites – Twitter, Seesmic, what have you – I have seen a lot of “What I’m Thankful For” posts. Of course, I’m thankful for a lot of things this Thanksgiving, so I thought I’d follow suit:

  • Two incredible sons who keep reminding me not to take everything so seriously.
  • A fabulous husband who makes an amazing pumpkin cheesecake and keeps me laughing all year long.
  • A close knit family and in-laws that rock, too.
  • My grandfather, who is an amazing testament to living the good life. He just turned 83 and is still in the gym every day. He also spent the last 15+ years by my grandmother’s bedside while she struggled with Alzheimer’s. (I’ll be posting about that amazing story sometime soon.)
  • My oldest brother (a brilliant NYU film student) who drove up from NYC with his girlfriend to spend the weekend with us.
  • My new social media friends! In a very short time I’ve felt welcomed to a whole new world of Boston tech enthusiasts – and I keep learning from them every day. Amanda Mooney, Scott Monty, Chris Brogan, Sarah Wurrey, Jeff Pulver, Nate Burke and more. Thank you for all the tips – and laughs!
  • The opportunity to be a working mom. Some days it feels overwhelming but I love both roles, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Now, back to the family.

Happy Thanksgiving!