The hardest thing about this blog is that I am not sure who I am supposed to be and so … it’s kinda sucked, really. There’s always that little voice in my head saying: I-have-to -watch-what-I-say-and-am-only-supposed-to-show-a-certain-side-of-me and it-can’t-be-too-personal-because-clients/employees/stalkers-could-see-it; yet it’s hard to write when you are holding a bit of yourself back. In addition, I’m in PR and feel immense pressure that everything I do on-line is supposed to be about branding myself and my business. But I do that all day long… for others and for my own business. I do write about tech and business and the market – on my business blog where I promote, well, business. So do I have to do it here, too? All signs point to yes… I think. And that makes me write about really boring things.
I have toyed with just stopping this blog altogether. I started it simply because I love writing (secretly I’d love to have been a novelist and not a PR flack but life is what it is and hey, lo and behold I am good at what I do) and I wanted a venue that would help me practice without say, taking a second job as a stringer (I already have enough jobs as mom, wife and CEO). Why a blog you might ask? Why not just do my Morning Pages in my private journal and practice The Writer’s Life on my computer? Good question/s (not that you asked but let’s pretend that you did).
I like to be accountable to others. I find it motivates me (being accountable to so many may cause an early heart attack but I digress). And, I won’t lie – if I know someone is reading I a) like the feedback (most of the time) and b) feel responsible to write something if they are bothering to visit (not that a lot of people are reading, trust me, but again I just haven’t found a good groove yet, so really, who could blame them).
As I state in ” Why I’m Here,” sometimes I *gasp* want to think, write about and share things outside of my career focus. Is it possible? Am I jeopardizing myself/work? Will a client be frustrated with a personal view or judge my company’s ability to execute if I admit that in my personal life I enjoy plenty of stupid reality shows, sometimes have a hangover or flip-off-a-boat-piggyback-on-a-buff-ship’s-captain-while-on- vacation-in-Aruba?
So here’s my question… social media is supposed to be about “transparency,” which means if you are going to participate in it you are supposed to be honest about who you are and what our intentions are. Dare you have an agenda you better be up front about it. But what if I don’t have an agenda? I’m simply here for fun (I know, like there’s time for fun) – yet feel an agenda forced upon me. As a certain media-hungry-pseudo-celebrity recently said on The Apprentice, “People always say business isn’t personal – but business is always personal.”
So does that mean anything I write here on my “personal life” blog is subject to business scrutiny (yes) and – does that mean I shouldn’t do it (I’m unsure)? Opinions are welcome/encouraged/begged for.