Category Archives: life

#40 of #365LifeLessons – Get Back Up Again

My beautiful son, you are entering middle school in exactly one month and three days. It will be a time of great change and great challenge for you. I won’t embarass you here with what I really think, but suffice it to say that you will need to learn to get knocked down, and get back up again.

This lesson in life will never end. Even now, at 42, I have to heed it. Yesterday was a tough day. I took some time to wallow in the way that I do – slow songs, dessert, a few private tears – but today I got back up again, I dusted off my knees and I got back out there. It’s what you do – you get back up again.

Remember:

  • Time really does heal most wounds
  • Things always get better, even when you feel like they never will
  • When we’re down, the only way to look is up
  • Rely on those who love you in both the good and the bad times
  • Talk about issues with someone you trust – don’t internalize it
  • God does not give us anything that we cannot handle
  • Middle school – and who  you are now – does not define you, I swear!
  • Be true to yourself and be good to yourself – and demand that others are, too

Vince-1

Part of the Series What I’ve Learned, What I’m Learning – #365LifeLessons

#39 of #365LifeLessons – Be a Good Sport

Michael Jordan was undoubtedly an amazing basketball player. But you know what made him even better? His attitude about his team and his understanding that regardless of how great an individual he was, he was better with his team.

I’ve got two points today about being a good sport, inspired by the video below form MJ.

1) As awesome as HE was, MJ always focused – and still does here – on the TEAM. We could all use some of that mentality – how do I help the TEAM win? What’s my role in making the TEAM amazing? Who won? Who lost? The TEAM. If you’re focused on the ME in TEAM – at work, in sports, at school, at home, etc. – you don’t get it. (If you’re my sons reading this, I hope I raised you to totally get this video.)

2) Be respectful, always. As an individual, display respect for your coach, your teammates and the opposing team – even if you lose. Work hard and don’t cheat. Accept your losses as gracefully as you celebrate in your wins. Be an example as you go. Never forget where you came from.

As a society, we need to push harder to cultivate and demand respect and behavior from ANY athlete – from grade school to the pros. If we didn’t tolerate and cover up bad behavior just because someone’s a good athlete, perhaps we wouldn’t be facing sad news stories like the one coming out of Boston today. I’m sure Hernandez displayed some bad behavior or anger management issues along the way that should have been addressed before it resulted in what, allegedly, is now murder.

Our society has become so obsessed with winning that we’ve forgotten what true greatness means. Greatness is natural, not forced. Greatness is inspiring, not intimidating. And greatness is what you will achieve if you follow the right path.

Part of the Series What I’ve Learned, What I’m Learning – #365LifeLessons

#38 of #365LifeLessons: Life Isn’t Perfect, But @SteveTobak Says It Can Be Successful – And Happy

My last blog post over the weekend was a facetious response to a conversation happening on my Facebook page. The conversation centered around how open one should be on social media – should we treat it like a holiday card and pretend that everything is always good – only posting the highlights of life? Is it okay to admit when we’ve got troubles? Why do people Vaguebook? With the cross of business and personal relationships, the opinions vary.

I’ve been asked many times – especially in interviews about being a female entrepreneur – how I manage to be so open and honest with some aspects of my life while also running a business. I remember at a conference a few years ago, one woman said she really admired how I talked about having kids – as though admitting that fact would be hazardous to my career. She said it inspired her to open up to clients “a little” and admit she has children. (That issue is a whole other blog post topic.)

Like everyone else, I’m just trying to live a balanced life. I don’t have all the answers and a lot of times I need inspiration, too. I found this interesting list of Six Ways to Be Successful & Happy, including “Quit trying so hard to get somewhere; Build Real Relationships and Do One Thing at a Time” by Steve Tobak at Inc Magazine. I thought it was a fascinating list, one which fits into the theme of building both a successful work and personal life. Consider it today’s lesson.

What I’ve Learned, What I’m Learning – #365LifeLessons

37 of #365LifeLessons – Finding Your Passion

Finding your passion can be, believe it or not, hard work (especially for work). Start with making a list of things you enjoy & things that make you happy. And remember, these things can evolve over time. It’s better to make a conservative living doing something you love than to be wealthy doing something you hate. Here’s someone who says it a whole lot better than me, by the way: I Can’t Get No (Job) Satisfaction

25-36 of #365LifeLessons – Music, Exploration, Apologies

25) They say business isn’t personal, it’s just business. But when it’s such a major part of someone’s life, it is indeed personal. Remember this both when you’re employer and employee, and act accordingly.

26) Learn to say you’re sorry but don’t be overly apologetic (you know those people who say “sorry” about everything they do… yuck.)

27) Explore before settling down. There’s always time to settle down.

28) Pack light and bring a credit card.

29) Learn to play the guitar. It can bring you solace when you’re alone, entertain a group of friends and warm up a campsite, a party or even a date.

30) Send her flowers for no reason at all.

31) Call your Mother weekly. 😉

32) Plan to learn a new skill every year. Even if you never again apply it.

33) Create something with your hands – a tree house, a go kart, a desk, a house… something that will always make you proud when you look at it.

34) Learn how to be alone.

35) Write it down. Visit it again in a few days, months, years… you’ll be amazed at your perspective.

36) Don’t keep up with the Joneses. It’s a boring game that no one ever wins.

What I’ve Learned, What I’m Learning – #365LifeLessons

Teaching Women How to Step Out is Just as Important as “Leaning in”

I recently submitted a piece to Leanin.org about how I’ve advanced my career – and my life – by not only “leaning in” as Sheryl Sandberg describes it, but by stepping out when the time was right as well. Sometimes leaning out is just as important – or moreso. Women of domestic violence and abuse need more help leaning out first, and then we can teach them to lean in, for example. Many women stay in bad situations too long because they’re afraid of what it means to leave. I’d like to see us teach more women how to leave when something’s not right for them – and how to lean in even when it’s uncomfortable to push the boundaries.

Here’s my story – what’s yours?

 

23 of #365LifeLessons – Never Stop Seeking Education

I never understand folks with such big egos that they think they already know it all. NOBODY knows it all. There is always more to learn. And learning is awesome – it keeps you interested and interesting. (A few ideas: salsa dancing, photography, hiking, surfing, painting, snowboarding, building a treehouse… you get the picture.)

What I’ve Learned, What I’m Learning – #365LifeLessons