Perfect, perfect. Everything’s perfect!
I never promised I’d keep ‘em coming daily (did I?), just that I’d post at least 365 So, to catch up, here’s 12-22.
12) Admit your mistakes – it’s the only way to truly improve from making them.
13) Don’t “Over-Google,” – some things in life are best learned from actual people – like your spouse, your Doctor, scientists, etc. Social insights only go so far.
14) If you keep people guessing, they’ll never be able to reproduce what you do. Stay the course, YOUR course. Even if others don’t quite get it, criticize it or wonder just what the hell you’re doing.
15) Believe in you. It’s the best investment you can make.
16) Know when to walk away. There are many times in life you’ll need to do so for your best interests.
17) Stop listening. Sometimes you have to ignore what the haters say and keep focused on the good things in your life.
18) Exercise. Always.
19) Find champions. Not just those that you admire, but those that admire you and can inspire, lead and direct you as you navigate new challenges in life.
20) Be honest. It isn’t always easy, it’s often uncomfortable – but it’s always the best way (even if a little white lie right now seems the easiest way out).
21) Don’t underestimate yourself. If you think you can’t, you can’t. But if you try, you’ll likely never regret it – and will always learn something new.
22) Turn the TV off. Or the computer, the iPod, iPad, whatever. Invest in people, books, music… learning – at least more than zoning out in front of the boob tube. You don’t want to be a boob, do you?
Your spouse had an affair. Your boss stole your idea as her own. Your teacher gave you a failing grade. Guess what – it’s not her fault. Something else went wrong – take ownership for your part in any outcome, whether it was not heeding the signs, not speaking up, not studying or simply making the wrong choice. The sooner you start recognizing your role in outcomes, the sooner you start seeing better ones.
You can spend your life dwelling and wishing they hadn’t, or dealing with your emotions, moving on and letting go to find happiness again.
Relationships have been on my mind a lot lately. I’m reaching the time in life where a good deal of friends are getting divorced, middle age crisis’ are approaching and many people are seeking some new kind of inspiration. Some find this by taking up new hobbies, or running away from responsibilities, others by traveling and still others by buying things they don’t need or can’t afford.
The divorce thing is really tough to watch – in my most selfish moments it makes me wonder if sharing your most intimate thoughts and moments in life with another person is something that will come to haunt you. It is always in the back of my mind – is my “family” now always going to be so? Are these relationships worth emotional toil or are they dispensable? As relationships crumble – and mind you, divorce is not just about the man and wife – ever – I get so scared.
Then – I visit my folks’. But they are not the ones that give me faith (well…I shouldn’t say that – they give me some faith, having been married since they were 17- and 19-years-old – they are now in their 60s). I get to see my 84-year-old, sprite Grandfather, seen below (photo courtesy of one brilliant brother, Brian Dilg.) He has seen so much in life. His mother passed away when he was six, his step mother died when she was 13. He had another stepmother – the Nana that I knew – who embraced and loved him and he, her…. But…
… the biggest, most wondrous thing about Papa is his love for his wife. He met her when he was 13. She passed away last November from Alzheimer’s. For the last 20 or so years of her life he stood by her side – in a nursing home for the most part – every single day. He stayed by her when she started to lose her memory. He stayed when she began getting lost, running away and throwing things at him. He stayed when she completely forgot him and couldn’t function anymore (although, she always kissed him back – the one human reaction she never lost) and he stayed when many, many people would not have. My Grandparents’ story around the theft that is Alzheimer’s is a post for another time. For today, I thank Papa for showing me that real love can last, that not all relationships are dispensable and that in the end – faith is a daily leap that is a reward in and of itself.
I’m a fairly Type-A person – always on the go, pretty intense and not one to sit down for long, if at all. It’s also quite possible that I possess a few obsessive- compulsive behaviors – if you count noticing any time a picture frame is moved as obsessive….
Many elements in my life have likely contributed to my constantly-racing heart and go-go-go mentality – a German-work ethic, a childhood full of yellow legal pad “to do lists” from my father, a Catholic upbringing…the list goes on. In some senses, my intensity has served me well – at work, for example, where clients appreciate my tireless work ethic and constantly spinning mind. In my personal life it has been called into question from time-to-time, such as when my husband is hoping I can just focus on him during a conversation – and not tidy the counter, open the mail or keep my fingers on the keyboard while he talks.
Like anyone, I was nervous to have children. I like everything in its place and I wondered how in the world I would possibly balance my career and motherhood. But I’ve found over the years that not only am I doing an acceptable job at juggling, but my sons (ages 5 and 2) are helping me to relax a bit – ironically, when I’m busier than ever – as they continue to teach me every day some very important lessons:
• Messes can be cleaned
• Relaxing is not a bad thing – especially on the hammock with a sippy cup
• Trains are cool – bugs are too
• Love with all your might
• I should have appreciated my parents more
• Some loud music, crazy dancing and beating a drum set does wonders for stress relief
• I can fish!